March 19, 2009 Adoption Conference

tuesday i went to part of this:

Transracial Adoption: Issues, 

Identity, & Racial Socialization 

 

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 

 

Conference Center 

Brigham Young University 

i have talked about this conference a lot in the past few days to people. i didn't expect it to be ALL positive and bright and shiny, but i feel like the majority of what i heard was negative. i would think they could be informative and still be able to be positive. OR go ahead and tell me the negative, i can take it. but there is a whole other side. the bright and shiny, represent that side too. here is a comment (i love the whole copy and paste function) i made to a transracial adoption group on facebook about the conference:

i agree with you about the conference. i only went to the 2 afternoon speakers and then listened to the panel of adoptees. which i think the panel was the best part, but wished it was open to our questions. my thoughts on the speakers i heard are this. the 1st woman, the transracial adoptee from korea, i think went through completely different things then our children will. i think there are big differences in our society now then in 1962 (and my family and hers to be honest)! yes, there is still racism in our country, yes there are people who don't like the fact that our families are transracial. BUT i do think that adoption as a whole is more accepted and looked at in a more positive way then she suggested. AND i believe our country and society has made tremendous progress with each generation when it comes to acceptance of others racially. the 2nd woman i heard speak i think did a good job on her research, however i don't think the subject matter went along with the title "white parents of black children...". none of the families she interviewed had adopted children and all of the children were biracial. i expected something different. i also feel like the things she found in her research  in inner-city chicago and hyde park are extremely different then what she would find here in utah-where all of us live that were attending the conference.

i feel like in a lot of ways the things that the speakers were saying didn't really apply to our children or families. either because it's 2009 or because of where we live, the type of community we live in. (maybe i am naive?)

i am glad i went. i learned a few things and my eyes were opened to other parts of adoption that my family has not experienced. but there are wonderful stories and positive statistics of adoption and transracial adoption. why wasn't this side represented? i realize that there are negative opinions or outcomes when it comes to adoption and transracial adoption. there is opposition and are exceptions in all things. but i feel like more often then not, the good opinions and outcomes outweigh the bad when it comes to adoption. 

my suggestion for speakers in the future would be to just have more diversity in the topics. also, consider the audience and our circumstances. like i mentioned, i loved to panel. it was the highlight of the conference for me.
i liked what the 2nd guy on the panel said when asked what advice he would give us as parents raising transracial adoptees. he said his mother taught him to have faith and that god loved him, and because of that he could deal with anything that came in his life. what perfect advice.

last night i talked to all of the young women about divine nature. at the end of my message to them i told them a little about this conference i had gone to the day before (but i didn't rant like i just did in my comment). i told them that one of the speakers (the 2nd one i talked about in my comment above) talked about "whiteness" and "blackness", how society labels people, and stereotypes. i told them that yes quincy is adopted. quincy is a little black girl. maybe she will be a soccer player. maybe she will be a dancer. she will probably make mistakes in her life. but above all of those things that she will be labeled as, i hope to teach her and have her know that she is a daughter of god 1st. and that she is part of our eternal family. we talked about the girls understanding their divine nature and knowing who they are.

so, my hope for quincy is that she will know her story and know who she is. just like the guy from the adoptee panel said his mother taught him to have faith and that god loves him, if quince knows that then i believe she will have confidence and love herself. and she can give all of those who don't agree with our family the finger! i will let her.

transracial adoption and adoptees-1, haters and racists-0  :)